


A Double-Edged Sword

by Aria_Lerendeair



Series: Aria's SH Bingo Fics 2019-2020 [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Anger, Angst, BAMF Magnus Bane, Camille Turns Alec, Canon-Typical Violence, Catarina Loss is the best, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Grieving, Hints of Dark Magnus, Immortal Husbands, Jace kisses Magnus out of a panic attack, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus and Alec would burn the world down for each other, Magnus delivers retribution on Camille, Pining, Simon Lewis is a damn good friend, Simon teaches Alec the ropes, vampire!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:02:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: When Magnus receives a call saying that Camille has broken out of the Gard and Alexander is missing - he knows what is going to happen next, and nothing, absolutely nothing will stop him from bringing Alexander home, and delivering punishment to those who dared to try to take Alec from him.
Relationships: Brief Magnus Bane/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Aria's SH Bingo Fics 2019-2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1595839
Comments: 65
Kudos: 540





	A Double-Edged Sword

**Author's Note:**

> This is the Bingo Fill for Vampire!Alec and man it ran AWAY from me!! 
> 
> While this particular fic is 100% Malec - there is a BRIEF Jagnus moment where Jace kisses Magnus out of a panic attack and lots of brotping between the two of them. 
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE: While this fic is very much Malec and is 100% focused on how Magnus deals with a freshly turned Alec and what it means for them - later fics in the series will shift to other pairings and be tagged accordingly. This particular fic can be read as a stand-alone.

When his phone rang for the fourth time in less than ten minutes, Magnus gave his client an apologetic look and swiped it open angrily, pressing it to his ear. "Isabelle, what could be so urgent that you have to interrupt-" 

"Camille has broken out of the Gard," Izzy said, panting hard as she rounded a corner. "She managed to encanto another vampire being brought down there and they overpowered the-" 

Magnus felt ice rush through him and he froze, tightening his hand around his phone until the plastic was cracking. "Isabelle,” he interrupted. “Where's Alexander?" 

"We don't know," Izzy said, striding towards the Consul's office. "His office was ransacked. There were signs of an attack - Alec didn't have any warning." 

Magnus closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath, even as fire exploded under his skin, his magic itching for him to move, to attack, rip apart and destroy those who had touched what was his. "Don't touch his office. I'll be right there," he ordered her, ending the call, turning to his client who was staring at him with wide eyes. 

Magnus looked down at himself, at the red, angry magic snapping around every inch of his body and then up to his client. "I will reschedule," he growled, opening a portal, stepping through it and into Alexander's office. Jace was already standing there, as was Lydia and they went silent at his appearance. 

"Magnus," Jace started, holding out his hands. "We don't know-" 

"We know enough," Magnus snarled, closing his eyes, gathering magic into his palms. The violent red encompassed the room and Magnus forced himself to focus. This was a game, and Alexander was the pawn, but Camille could never resist making the first move. He pushed his magic into the cracks of the room with a snarl, searching, tearing through papers, reports and weapons, all of them spinning around the room until he found what he was looking for. 

A small slip of paper flew into his hand and Magnus clenched it into his fist, inhaling harshly. The magic faded from the room, still roaring in his veins, and he forced his hand open, the paper unraveling at his command. 

_ 'I think I'll see just how good this darling shadowhunter can be for me. By the time you find us, it'll be too late. But I know you won't give him up that easily. Come to me, little prince. I'll be waiting.'  _

"Magnus!" Izzy shouted, watching as the magical inferno around Magnus went from violent red to black in the space of an instant. "Magnus, we're going to find her." 

"Bring Simon," Magnus said, his voice cold, his glamour down as he stared at her. "Get him here.  _ Now. _ " 

Jace frowned, even as Izzy stepped through the portal Magnus summoned for her, already on her phone. "Simon? Why the hell do you need Simon? It's not like he's going to know where Camille is." 

Magnus scowled at him and looked down at the note again, clenching it tightly into his fist. Rage would serve him well. If he found Alexander dead, he would not stop until Camille was gone forever, no matter what their past had been. He forced himself to take a deep breath, putting the office to rights with a wave of his hand for sake of something to do. He didn't know how long it was before Izzy stumbled back through the portal, Simon's hand held in hers. 

Magnus moved, stepping closer to Simon, reaching out to press his fingertips to Simon's forehead. "Don't move," he snapped. With a sharp inhale and press of his magic, he found the pieces of Simon that belonged to Camille. He was hers, even if only due to her being his sire. It was small, but it was enough to track her. He yanked his hand away and turned towards the City of Glass. 

"Simon?" Magnus asked, his chest heaving as magic started to snap around his hands again. "Prepare a turning room. Gather everything you need. Bring it to my loft. Be waiting." 

Isabelle's eyes widened. "Magnus, you don't think she's-" 

"I know her, far better than you could ever imagine, Isabelle," Magnus said, breathing in through his nose, exhaling noisily. "When I walk into her trap, I have no doubt she will force me to watch her drain him." 

Jace sucked in a frantic breath, panic surging through him. "We're coming with you, fuck, we have to stop her!" 

Magnus tensed and shook his head, trying to breathe, every part of him singing with the demand for vengeance. "Warn the Consul of the breach of the inter-downworld accords I am about to commit. I will submit myself to any punishment deemed fit when I bring him back." 

"Magnus!" Jace growled. "You're not going after him alone!" 

Magnus threw out a hand and pinned them to the wall on the other side of Alec's office, his eyes blazing gold as he glared at them. "I will save you watching your brother die until I can bring him back." He lifted his other hand and summoned a portal, focusing on the location he had pulled from Simon and stepped through it, releasing them as soon as he had. 

~!~

The location where Alexander was being kept burned in his mind as Magnus hurried through the streets of Paris, barely keeping his magic contained as he moved. He hadn't been able to portal directly to where she was, and she'd likely known that. Every minute that ticked by was another that she would spend torturing Alec. 

When Magnus arrived at the innocent looking townhouse on the outskirts of the city, and saw the two guards standing outside the doors, he didn't hesitate. His magic leapt for them, ending their lives in an abrupt flicker of black. He didn’t stop to spare them a look, striding past them and into the house. The door was his next victim, blown off its hinges by the force of the magic bleeding off of him, and Magnus stepped into the foyer and closed his eyes. 

"There you are dear, I wondered if you were ever going to arrive. You took so long, you almost missed the game!" 

Camille's voice was an echo from upstairs and Magnus took one step and  _ moved _ , standing outside her door in an instant. She was in a bedroom, reclining on the bed, her wrist held up to Alexander's mouth, her fingers combing through his hair, soft and gentle. The quiet, sucking noise of Alexander feeding from her wrist was loud in the room. Magnus felt his stomach turn, hard and violent. The rug beneath his feet began to burn, Edom's fires licking at his heels as he stalked towards her. 

"Shhhh," Camille whispered, holding up a finger to her lips. "He's finishing feeding. You wouldn't want to have him attack you, would you?" 

Magnus turned his attention to her, calm settling over him. "Let him go Camille." 

“There’s nothing you can do now,” Camille said, looking up at him, smiling beautifically. “For all your power, all your strength, Magnus, there is nothing you can do to stop what I’ve done.” When Alec’s mouth finally loosened and he slumped to the bed, blood smeared against his lips, she carefully dabbed at the cut on her wrist with a tissue and stood up, smoothing out her silk robe. 

Magnus stared at her, his eyes cold. “I will kill you for this.” 

Camille laughed and was standing in front of him in the space of a second, her hand pressed teasingly against his arm. “Look at you, my little prince,” she purred, trailing her fingers higher. “I haven’t seen you this angry in over a century. The power bleeding off you, Magnus. This is who you are truly meant to be. Who we are meant to be together.” 

In an instant, power flared out of Magnus, black tinged in the red of blood and slammed into Camille, shoving her across the room and into the wall. He watched her laugh, even as blood trailed down her jaw from the cut on her lip, her eyes bright and lust evident in them. Magnus twisted his magic, pressing it into her harder until her eyes filled with fear. 

Then the sound of breathing in the room outside his own stopped. Magnus froze, his eyes flying to Alexander. 

Camille smirked and leaned her head back against the wall. “It’s done. Whether he survives the turn or not doesn’t-ah!” 

Magnus tightened his magic around her throat, silencing her, stepping close, until he could stare into her eyes, flashing his true eyes at her. By the way she glowered at him, narrowing her own in anger, she still hated them as much as she ever had. 

_ ‘Magnus, they’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.’ _

The reminder of Alec’s soft words were the only reason that Magnus didn’t kill her, right then and there. He had more important things to do. He stepped back from her and released her throat, taking a deep breath, the magic inside him pounding through his veins, demanding he take his vengeance on her. 

“It is going to eat away at you,” Camille taunted. “Knowing that even if he survives his Turn, he’ll respond to  _ me _ before all others. That you couldn’t save him. That you will never hear his heart beat again.” She licked her lips, her fangs dropping. “But best of all? It will destroy you both. I’ve taken his identity from him. Everything he’s ever known, is gone. He’ll eventually leave you. You think he’ll walk into sunlight to do it?” 

Magnus flexed his fingers, throwing another wall of magic at her, pinning her to the wall with ropes of magic. With another flare of black magic from his skin, the other seven vampires in the house were pinned to the wall next to her. He turned to look at her, and whatever she saw had her expression turning worried. 

Magnus refocused on the bed, striding towards Alexander, sitting gently on the bed next to him, reaching out to wipe away the blood on his lips, pushing his hair out of his face. He leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, exhaling shakily. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “I know you’ll come back.” 

It was easy to pick up Alexander, situating him so Alec’s face was pressed to his neck. Magnus carried him bridal style, summoning a portal with his left hand, leaving the vampires pinned to the wall. Before stepping through, he looked at all of them, meeting each of their eyes, feeling them start to struggle to break free. He stepped through the portal, maintaining the connection with the bonds holding them in place, and into the loft. 

Simon, Isabelle, and Jace were waiting for him, their faces ashen and eyes tear-filled as they caught sight of him. Magnus didn’t meet their eyes, bringing Alec into their bedroom, carefully positioning him on golden sheets. It took a snap of his fingers to dress Alec in clothing that wouldn’t restrict his movement while he dug out of his grave. Another ensured a shovel in Alec’s hand. He carefully pushed his fingers through Alec’s hair again, pushing it off of his forehead before he turned away, closing the bedroom door behind him, spelling it so no one else could open it unless he allowed it. 

“Magnus,” Izzy started, swallowing. “We have to-” 

Magnus held up a hand and shook his head, looking to Simon. “You have what you need?” 

Simon nodded. “I’m, I’m not sure how much we need, Raphael didn’t tell me-” 

“Ten, though I’d err on the side of caution and bring fifteen,” Magnus said, his voice flat and emotionless. “If Jace and Clary are willing, we’ll need it from them, too.” 

“Of course I’m willing,” Jace snapped. “It’s Alec.” 

Magnus raised his eyes to Jace. “And it’s your blood. Your choice,” he said, his voice still quiet, barely above a whisper. He summoned another portal and took a deep breath. “All of you except Simon leave.” 

“Magnus!” Izzy snapped. “We can’t just, just leave!” When Magnus’ eyes swung to her, the dull shine of them made her take a step back. 

“You have to report to the Consul that the Inquisitor has been murdered. Alec’s recommendation for his successor is Aline Penhallow, and he has paperwork attesting to that fact. It’s filed with his will,” Magnus said, looking towards the portal. He tightened his hands into fists and forced a deep breath, power starting to bleed out of him. 

Simon frowned, stepping closer to Magnus. “Magnus. Do, do you need help-” 

“No,” Magnus said, his eyes shifting to Simon. “I don’t need help. I’ll do it myself. I’ll bring you there when it’s time.” 

Simon swallowed, his heart aching. “Magnus, no one should have to do that alone. One, one of us should come with you.” 

Magnus shook his head again and stepped back through the portal, into the townhouse in Paris. He could see the faintest hints of the sun rising and walked through the doors, using his power to banish the two bodies in the front yard to the roof. Except for the constant sound of snarling, there was no other noise in the house.  _ Good.  _

“There you are!” Camille said, her fangs out and her eyes wild. “I told them you’d never leave us to die, Magnus. Now, let us go.” 

Magnus tilted his head and stared at her, stepping in close again, reaching out to trail a fingertip along her jaw, his eyes dropping to the blood still smeared along her lips. Alexander’s blood. His eyes flared, and he pulled out a handkerchief, carefully wiping it away from her lips until none remained. Camille was staring at him, her eyes still bright and her smirk triumphant. “So sweet,” she purred. 

Magnus pulled the handkerchief away and set it on fire, the inky black flame consuming it almost instantly. He turned to the bed and did the same, setting it aflame, watching as the flames began to consume the room. Looking at the eight vampires, he summoned a portal and brought them all to the roof, watching their expressions turn horrified with the light of the sun beginning to peek over the horizon. 

“You have a choice,” Magnus said, staring at them as they all turned to him with fangs out, struggling desperately against the magical hold he had them in. “Either stand, face the sun, and die for what you did. Or try to get past me, and escape.” 

“Magnus!” Camille snarled. “That isn’t funny. Let us go!” 

Magnus tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. “Just for that, you will go last.” He turned his attention back to the others and looked at the one furthest from Camille, freeing him from the magic around him. “Make your choice.” 

The vampire charged at him and Magnus let the magic roiling inside him snap out, the vampire turning to ash the second it hit the cloud of black magic. A faint smirk curled his lips and he looked to the next, releasing him from the magic. 

Camille looked frantically towards the horizon. “Magnus Bane,” she growled, her voice laced with  _ encanto  _ magic. “You will-” 

Magnus shifted, the black magic crawling up her body to cover her mouth, tightening her in its hold. “It’s Lightwood-Bane,” he told her, catching the vampire that dashed for the edge of the roof in a bubble of magic. Magnus held him there. The sun would do the work for him soon enough. 

Each of Camille’s fledglings, some freshly turned, and some more than a century old, all succumbed to the rage of his magic tearing them apart, or imprisoning them somewhere on the roof where the sunlight would be able to touch them. When he was finished, Magnus turned to her, where the sunlight was beginning to make her skin smoke and burn. 

He stepped closer, each step reverberating with power and fire around his feet. “You made me fear this side of myself,” Magnus said, watching her. He watched her eyes flare and she struggled harder against his magic, snarling. “I am going to guess you don’t think I can kill you,” he continued, crossing his arms as he stopped in front of her. “That, with all of our shared history, since I could barely summon up the courage to imprison you, let alone serve as your executioner.” 

Magnus leaned in closer to her, feeling her jerk wildly in the magic to try to get him. “You may have been correct five years ago. But now?” He leaned in closer to whisper into her ear. “You’ve given me a double-edged sword, Camille. You’ve given me eternity with Alexander, for which I cannot thank you, but I cannot regret in the same turn.” He hummed, lifting his eyes to the sun, feeling Camille tense and shout, the other vampires around them burning in the gentle touch of sunlight. 

“But you murdered my husband,” Magnus continued, his voice soft. “So not only will I leave you here to suffer an agonizing death with no regrets, but I will take what belongs to him, and him alone.” 

Magnus took a step back, the black magic surrounding him roaring into his palms, before he pushed it at and  _ into _ Camille. He closed his eyes, twisting the magic inside her, until it leapt properly to his command, burning away every single bit of Alec’s blood in Camille’s body, watching impassively as she screamed, her body convulsing under the assault. When he was done, he lowered his hand and turned away from her. “Goodbye, Camille.” 

Magnus watched the sun rise over Paris, waiting for the sun to be fully in the sky before he portalled off the roof and back to the loft. Simon was waiting for him, uncharacteristically quiet and solemn. Magnus summoned a shovel into his hands and walked to the door. “Don’t leave him,” he ordered, waiting for Simon to nod before he went to the yard behind the complex. A quick glamour created a construction site and Magnus turned to the ground. Four feet deep. Six and a half long. Four wide. 

He stripped off his jacket, banishing his rings, necklaces and makeup, leaving him in nothing more than an outfit he regularly wore to work out with Alexander. 

Magnus pushed the shovel into the dirt, exhaling hard as he lifted up the dirt, throwing it behind him with a grunt. On the next steady motion, the tears started to fall. He shook his head and tried to focus, his tears blurring the patch of grass that he was going to bury Alec in, no matter that he was going to wake up again. Magnus felt his magic roil under his skin, even though it was soothed a fraction by the knowledge that Camille and the others responsible were dead. 

Sweat slowly crept down his back and Magnus could feel his arms starting to tire, but this was for Alec. He didn't matter. Alec did. And he was going to dig this himself, without his magic to help. The sound of boots approaching made his shoulders hunch, but he kept digging, carefully moving the dirt so they could pile it on top of Alec. 

A sob escaped but Magnus shook himself even as the tears came faster, in hot tracks down his cheeks. He exhaled harshly and took a second to lean against the shovel and breathe, sucking in frantic breaths of air before he kept going. He didn't have long. They needed to get him buried, and he was going to do this right. 

Thankfully, Jace, because only Jace would understand this, and why he was doing it, didn't do anything more than stand a dozen yards away, and offer him a water bottle he was holding when he stopped again. Magnus let himself drink the water and went back to his work. By the time he was done, he didn't have any more tears, and they had work to do. 

Magnus took a deep breath and with a wave of his hand, cleared up the tear tracks that were obvious on his face thanks to his makeup. He didn't look at Jace, but he did pause before walking past the shadowhunter, stopping next to him. "They're all dead." 

Jace nodded. "It was painful?" 

Magnus nodded again. "Sunlight." 

"Good," Jace said, tightening his arms across his chest. 

Magnus didn't need to say anything further, and made his way back into the apartment. He showered and dressed himself carefully, then made his way to where Alexander was still on the bed. If he hadn't known better, he would have thought that Alec was sleeping. But he wasn't. 

One final required touch. Magnus carefully tied a bandana around Alec's mouth and nose, so he didn't inhale too much dirt while he surfaced and picked him up again, cradling him carefully before he moved into the living room. He summoned another portal and looked to Simon, who was waiting with a cooler next to his feet. 

"Come with me," he ordered, leading the way with Alec. Bringing Simon with him, Magnus made his way to the grave that he had dug and laid his shadowhunter carefully into the dirt, conjuring a pillow under his head before crossing his arms over his chest, patting the trowel in his hands. Leaning down, Magnus pressed the softest of kisses to Alec's forehead. 

"Aku cinta kamu," he breathed. "Come back to me, my darling. Come back to me, because I don't think I can live without you either." Magnus forced himself to let go of Alec and to climb out of the hole, avoiding the eyes of Jace and Simon. He moved over to the dirt pile he'd created and moved it, carefully, with his magic, settling it on top of the grave. He kept the dirt loose, but covered Alec as was necessary. 

Once it was finished, Magnus fell to his knees at the end of the grave and let his head fall, clenching his eyes shut as he pressed both of his hands into the grass. Alec would come back. Alec always came back, or he found a way to come to him. Alec had to come back. 

~!~ 

Once the sun started to set, Magnus stood and looked to Simon. He swallowed hard and stared at him, clenching his hands into fists. "You'll take care of him?" he whispered, fear gripping him. He couldn't do this part. He had to trust Simon to do this part. For Simon to protect Alec and keep him safe. 

Simon nodded. "I'll take care of him, Magnus. I promise. I'll get him fed and bring him to the Turn room. It's going to take a...at least a couple of days before he can see you." 

Magnus flinched and forced himself to take a deep breath. "O-of course. I'll make sure the loft is safe for him. Don't...don't give him Jace's blood until he can make a choice." 

Simon blinked. "What do you mean, make a choice? Of course he's going to want-" 

"Don't," Magnus snapped. "He's had enough of this taken away from him. If he wants that, he is going to make the choice. Do you understand me, Simon?" 

“Yeah,” Simon said, nodding. “Where are you going to go?” 

Magnus swallowed and took a deep breath, the pressure in his chest getting more painful. Walking away from Alexander was worse than he ever could have imagined. “I have to report myself for the murder of seven vampires and one escaped convinct, Camille Belcourt.” 

Simon’s eyes went wide. “You-” 

“Yes,” Magnus interrupted. “I’m going to go take care of the loft now. If you need anything, I’ll make sure you have Catarina’s number.” He didn’t wait for Simon to say anything, only headed back upstairs. His finger was on the number to call Catarina only a moment later. 

“Magnus, where are you, what the hell is going on, I heard that Camille escaped and-” 

“Cat,” Magnus whispered, barely holding back the sob. “Please.” 

Catarina froze, both her eyes slamming shut, tightening her hand on her phone. “Is he gone?” 

“Buried,” Magnus managed to say the word that made his skin crawl. “Should be awake in about four hours.” 

A fraction of the tension faded and Catarina summoned a portal to the loft, stepping through, catching sight of Magnus starting to shake. “Magnus!” 

Magnus turned to Catarina, staring at her. “Cat, it’s my fault,” he whispered. 

“It is not your fault,” Catarina growled, striding towards Magnus, cupping his face in her palms. “You look at me, Magnus Lightwood-Bane. This is not your fault. This is the fault of that she-bitch, and when I get my hands on her-” 

“She’s dead,” Magnus said, his voice flat, stopping Catarina mid-rant. "She, she and the vampires who did this, who helped her. They're all dead." 

Catarina stared at Magnus and then wrapped him up in her arms, hugging him tight. "Good," she growled, hugging Magnus tight. "I hope you made her suffer. For him. For you. For everything she tried to do to the both of you." 

Magnus buried his face in Catarina's shoulder, his own starting to shake all over again. "He didn't want this, Cat. He didn't want it, and now, now..." the panic that he'd managed to keep buried for the last several hours was starting to roar back and he couldn't help but cling to her. "I have, I have to report myself to the Clave, and, fuck, they should lock me, up, I..." 

"Magnus," Catarina whispered. "They're not going to lock you up. I promise they aren't. You need to keep breathing, Alec is going to come back." 

"He's not going to be a shadowhunter," Magnus whispered, clenching his eyes shut. "What if he doesn't know what to do with his life? What if he decides he doesn't want this? Want, want me, anymore!" 

Catarina held onto Magnus tightly as he clung to her. "That boy, is always going to want you, Magnus. No matter what, in any form, I promise you, that he will want you, and love you. It's the universal truth we all know him capable of." 

Magnus hated himself for trembling in Catarina's arms, but now that he'd started, he couldn't seem to stop. "Cat, he's, he's-" 

"Magnus," Catarina said, pulling back to look at him. "Things are going to be different. He's going to be scared, he's going to be worried about you. But there is one thing that I have no doubt of." 

"What's that?" Magnus asked, wiping at his nose in irritation with his kerchief. 

Catarina smiled and gave him another hug. "You're both going to be okay. Things are going to change a bit, and you're going to be different, because now you have to be." She carefully rubbed Magnus' back. "But you're going to be okay." 

Magnus sucked in a slow breath, nodding, trying to breathe through his sniffles and where he was pressed up against her. "If he hadn't met me, this never would have happened." 

"If he hadn't met you, he'd be in a farce of a marriage," Catarina said, hugging her best friend tight. "Now, do you need help redecorating around here? Where are you staying while Alec is here?" 

Magnus swallowed and shrugged. "Hadn't, hadn't thought that far." 

"Right," Catarina said with a firm nod. "You're staying with me, then. I'll go with you to Alicante." 

He frowned at her. "You hate it there." 

"I do," Catarina agreed. "But you need the moral support and I need to punch anyone who might look at you sideways." 

A wet laugh escaped Magnus and he squeezed Cat again before letting her go, turning to the room. Blackout curtains and shades abruptly covered all the windows, even as he reduced them significantly in size. Food in the fridge was replaced with the stash of blood that he normally kept on hand with Raphael. 

"So what do you think Alec is going to do with his life now that he's not a shadowhunter?" Catarina asked, adjusting the wards that would be required as Magnus worked on the rest of the house. 

Magnus wanted to laugh, because the idea that Alec would do anything other than shadowhunting was preposterous. He'd been made for it, born to it, and had taken to it with all his heritage and history. He shook his head and flicked at another widow, watching as it was shuttered. "I don't know." 

Catarina snorted. "Magnus, he must have hobbies, things that he does outside of his job and you?" 

Magnus shook his head. "He loves learning, traveling, discovering new places, but I don't know if he wants to do that when he's still learning to control his powers." 

"Well," Catarina said, finishing the wards with a flick of her finger. "Lucky for the both of you, you now have eternity to figure it out." 

Magnus tried not to laugh and shook his head, giving her a faint glare, glad when she only glared right back at him. He looked around the loft and turned towards his apothecary, picking up his quill, staring at a blank piece of parchment for a long time. 

Thankfully, Cat didn't mind waiting for him, simply standing in the doorway while he scribbled, threw out and tried to write five different notes. Finally, he managed a few quick words and banished it to their bed, resting on Alec's pillow. He stood up and straightened his clothes, cracking his neck. 

"To Alicante?" Catarina asked, lifting her fingers, her magic wisping around them. 

Magnus nodded, taking a deep breath. "To Alicante." 

~!~

Magnus relaxed as they appeared outside of the Institute steps. He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders, wiping his face to get rid of any smearing of makeup and turned to look at Cat. "You'll stay with me?" 

"Let them try and take you away from me," Catarina said, her eyes narrowed as she looked around the city. "Where do you need to go?" 

"The Consul's office," Magnus said, clearing his throat. "They'll be waiting for me." 

Catarina nodded and let Magnus lead the way through the Institute, keeping her eyes on all the shadowhunters they passed. Most of them paid her barely any mind, but she didn't miss the pitying looks that Magnus received, making his back more and more tense. "Magnus-" 

Magnus shook his head. "I can't, Cat. I can't. It's all right. Just need to talk to her now." 

Catarina took a deep breath and watched Magnus knock on a sturdy wood door, waiting before they were called in by Consul Penhallow. She ignored the raised eyebrow sent her direction and leaned back against the door, keeping an eye on Magnus as he stepped forward. 

"Consul," Magnus said, his voice flat. 

She raised both of her eyebrows. "Magnus. You're back much sooner than I expected." 

Magnus' fingers twitched, but he moved forward with what he needed to say. "I did say that I would be back." 

"You also said that you were performing an Accords violation and that you would present yourself for punishment after it was done. By your presence in my office, I am guessing this has taken place?" she asked. 

Magnus cleared his throat. "Yes. Eight vampires. Including the fugitive Camille Belcourt." 

"They're all dead?" she prodded. 

"Sunlight," Magnus said, keeping it simple. He took out a simple piece of paper and offered it to her. "The address. Though it has perhaps burned to the ground by now, as I wanted to erase all traces of their presence." 

She hummed, looking at the address, putting it down at the desk. "And the Inquisitor?" 

Magnus opened his mouth to give the answer he needed to, but the word got stuck in his throat. He took a deep breath and forced himself to meet her eyes and read the pity there. "Dead," he whispered. 

"Dead and turned, or dead?" she asked. 

The image of Camille feeding Alexander her wrist burned in his mind's eye and he fought down the bile that wanted to rise in his stomach. "He's been buried. If the turn will happen, it will be tonight." 

"Where is he buried?" 

"At home," Catarina said, chiming in. "Where he should be. Watched over by his parabatai and Simon Lewis, a deputy downworlder." 

Consul Penhallow turned her attention to the other warlock. "And you are?" 

Catarina smiled at her. "Here to make sure he doesn't get pushed around." she said, gesturing to Magnus. "He's presented himself to tell you the events of the evening. Now if we are done here-" 

"There is the murder of seven innocent vampires to contend with," the Consul said, glaring at them both. 

Catarina scoffed. "Seven that assisted in the murder and kidnapping of your Inquisitor, so I'm not sure how you're assuming their innocence." 

"There's no proof of that, now, thanks to the location being burned down," the Consul said, looking from Catarina to Magnus. "An inquiry-" 

"Into how Camille Belcourt was able to escape is being opened?" Cat said, narrowing her eyes. "Wonderful, as it resulted in the death of your Inquisitor. I would expect nothing less. Do tell us about the results once they are finished.” 

"Listen to me you grieving fools," the Consul snapped, standing up, both of her hands in fists. "We are devastated to have lost Alec, he was one of our best and brightest and he will be remembered-" 

Magnus fought down the urge to laugh, an awkward noise leaving him as he covered his mouth and shook his head. "Devastated?" the lie from her tasted sour in the room. "Rest assured, Consul, if I had any evidence that this was more than vengeance on me from Camille? None of you would be left alive." 

"Are you threatening me, warlock Bane?" she growled, glaring at him. 

"Lightwood-Bane," Magnus snarled, enunciating both words clearly. "You were at the wedding," he added. “And you know very well what Alec and I have both done to protect our family." 

Catarina smiled widely at the phrasing and at the way red magic was beginning to swirl around Magnus, making the Consul’s eyes widen. “If we are done here, Consul, I am going to take Magnus home. I’m sure you can imagine this has been a trying day for him.” 

“There is the matter of-” the Consul began. 

“It can wait,” Aline said, stepping into the room. “As Acting Inquisitor per Alec Lightwood-Bane’s instructions, the death of Camille Belcourt and her accomplices will at most be attributed to an emotional reaction at the death of his husband.” She held her chin high when the three sets of eyes in the room turned to her. 

“Aline-” 

“Furthermore,” Aline pressed, stepping beside Magnus. “I doubt there are any who would think Magnus’ actions beyond the realm of appropriate considering what happened. Now, I’m sure Magnus and Catarina would like to go home.” 

Magnus didn’t wait for the Consul’s answer, instead spinning on his heel to leave the room. His body was twitching with exhaustion, even as his magic responded to his emotions. Once he was on the steps of the Institute, Magnus stopped and heard Catarina stop behind him. Everything in him felt scraped raw and he was tired of the weight of the pitying gazes, the grief in the Lightwood sibling eyes and his own that hovered just out of reach. 

“Magnus?” Catarina asked, reaching out to touch his arm. 

He wanted to go  _ home. _ He wanted Alec. He wanted Alec’s arms wrapped around him, holding him close after a long day, the two of them laughing at their days. His body ached for a home that he was never going to have again. It would be similar, but never the same. 

“Come on, Magnus,” Catarina reached out and tugged him gently through the portal and into her home. An excited shout from Madzie had her wincing, especially when Magnus blanched and took a step back. 

“Cat,” Magnus said, his voice hoarse as he stepped back. “I can’t, I can’t, she’s going to ask about Alec, and I…” He summoned a portal before Catarina could say anything and stepped through it, not wanting his wonderful niece to see him like this. He stepped out and next to Simon next to Alec’s grave, the vampire startling at Magnus’ sudden presence. 

“Magnus!” Simon’s eyes went wide. “Magnus, he’s going to be waking up soon, you need to get out of here, he’s going to-” 

“There’s nowhere else I can be,” Magnus said, his eyes on the freshly dug earth, his heart clenching in his chest. Alec had to come back to him. He  _ had _ to. 

“He’s not going to be able to control himself, Magnus. You  _ know _ this. How do you think he’d feel knowing he attacked you?” Simon growled. 

Magnus gave Simon a withering look. “You think I can’t handle a single fledgling?” 

“When that fledgling is your husband? No, I don’t,” Simon shot back. When Magnus made no indication of moving, he threw up his hands. “Fine, then at least glamour and hide your scent. You might be willing to risk putting Alec into a blood craving frenzy, but I am not!” 

“Careful Simon,” Magnus said, his eyes dark. 

Simon bared his teeth at Magnus, his eyes flashing. “No. I’m trying to do what’s right for Alec, what’s right for the both of you, because I owe both of you that, a thousand times over. So either let me do that or find another vampire.” 

Magnus stared at Simon for several long moments before stepping back from the grave. He waved his hand, masking the sight of him and the scent of him. Turning his attention back to the grave, he settled in to wait. 

Simon exhaled in relief when he couldn’t smell Magnus any longer and turned back to the grave, his ears twitching at the sound of shifting. “He’s waking up,” he called, kneeling beside the grave, two double donation bags in his hands. A specific sound caught his attention and he rolled his eyes, when not long after, a small hand shovel broke through the ground. 

Alec pushed the rest of the way out of the ground with a grunt and Simon watched him carefully, as he ripped the bandana over his nose and mouth (Magnus had spoiled him) off, tossing it to the side with a shovel. He tossed both of the bags into Alec’s lap, watching his eyes and nose flare at the scent. “Eat,” he ordered. 

He steeled himself for what Raphael had warned him for. That the first taste of blood would trigger the insatiable hunger and Alec would drink bag after bag until he was covered in blood and his need was sated. But Alec was still staring at the bags. “Alec, you have to feed. Eat.” 

Alec scowled and sank his teeth (fangs, fangs now), into the bag and punctured a hole in it, the blood hitting his mouth like water after a hot day training. He finished the bag in what felt like seconds before he was doing the same with another. The bags kept coming, until after six of them, he shook his head at Simon and climbed to his feet, brushing the dirt off of him. 

“You need to eat more. That was hardly enough,” Simon said, stepping closer to him, reaching out to touch Alec’s arm. “How are you feeling?” 

Alec’s eyes snapped to Simon and he looked around, taking in where he was. He looked back to the grave and frowned, before moving back to Simon. “Where is Magnus?” 

Simon held out another blood bag, scowling when Alec didn’t take it. “He’s fine. Well, not fine, since, you know,” he said with a wave at Alec. “But he’s safe. You can see him in a few days.” 

Magnus wanted to laugh or cry. Maybe a bit of both. After being murdered and turned into a vampire, he was still the first thing Alec asked about. Some things certainly didn’t change, and it was a welcome reminder, to say the least. 

Alec’s skin was itching at that, ordering him to find Magnus, and he could almost smell him in the air, the faintest hints of his shampoo. Like he had been here not too long ago. When the hunger made itself known again, he took another bag from Simon and drained it, taking careful mental stock of himself. He pressed a hand to his heart and frowned. No heartbeat, and no feeling of Jace. 

“My runes are gone,” he said, looking down at his arms. The sight felt  _ wrong _ , foreign, like they belonged to someone else, not him. He twitched, and found himself standing next to Simon again, snatching another bag from him to drink from as he turned back to the grave. Alec held out his hand to Simon. “Give me your phone.” 

Simon shook his head. “You’ll break it with vamp strength trying to push buttons. I went through four phones my first week.” 

“I’ll buy you another phone,” Alec growled around his fangs. “I need to talk to Magnus.” 

Simon scowled and put his phone into Alec’s hand, unlocked. “You’re not going to do something stupid like dump him, are you?” 

“Don’t be stupid, Simon,” Alec muttered. “He’s spent the day thinking I’m dead, I’m sure he’s a fucking wreck. I need to hear his voice and I’m sure he needs to hear mine.” 

Simon glanced towards where he knew Magnus was standing with the glamour up. That was an understatement, but he wasn’t about to tell that to Alec as he pushed the call button. When a ring immediately broke out loudly, Simon clapped his hands over Alec’s ears, wincing through the shrill ring as he glared at the glamour. “Magnus!” 

The ringing stopped abruptly and Alec stood, looking down at his phone, then at where the ringing had come from. His eyes darted around the small park, searching frantically, but there was no sign of Magnus, he couldn’t see or smell him, but… 

“I’m going to kill both of you,” Simon muttered, turning his attention to Alec. “He wanted to make sure you were all right. Now that he knows you’re fine, he’s going to  _ leave _ , so you can learn how to get a handle on things.” 

Alec waved a hand and took a step closer, studying the area in front of him. He could almost see the waiver in the air that signified a glamour, walking towards it. “I’m fine.” 

Simon dashed forward and put a hand in the center of Alec’s chest, stopping his forward momentum, glaring at the shadowhunter. “You think you’re fine. But you’re-” 

“Simon,” Alec interrupted, taking a deep breath. The myriad of scents in the air, especially garbage, made him wrinkle his nose, but close by he could smell something else, and taste it on the very back of his tongue. The taste almost  _ tingled _ . “How many vampires do you know who were former shadowhunters?” 

Simon blinked at the question, staring at Alec. It was an odd one, but now that he was thinking about it… “Almost none. Maybe one? I never really asked.” He shrugged. “Why?” 

“I’ve spent my entire life learning how to handle enhanced strength, speed, vision and sound. How to use them and control them,” Alec said. “There are runes for each of those, and dozens of others.” 

Why...hadn’t that occurred to him? Simon stared at Alec. “So, you’re okay?” 

“Well,” Alec admitted with a wince. “The cellphone ring hurt. But vamp senses are stronger than runes. Concept is the same though.” He looked over Simon’s shoulder and wondered if Magnus was staring at him, how close he was. He took another blood bag out of Simon’s pocket and chugged it, dropping the plastic behind him. 

Simon sighed. “It’s still not a good idea to risk you triggering a blood lust frenzy.” 

Alec’s fingers twitched. “Let me try,” he said, his eyes flickering down to Simon again. 

Simon crossed his arms over his chest and raised a stubborn eyebrow. “Give me one good reason why.” 

“Because the last time my husband saw me alive was drinking blood from Camille’s wrist. And I was so hopped up on yin fen I don’t even remember it,” Alec said, his voice quiet. “Because I know Magnus, and I know how much he is hurting right now.” 

Simon winced and bit down on his lip. “Admittedly, that is horrific and I’m sorry that happened to the both of you, but it’s only for a couple of days. Maybe less, considering how fast you’re adapting.” 

Alec growled. “ _ Simon. _ ” 

“Alec,” Simon said. “You have to trust me. I promise I won’t keep you apart for any longer than I have to. If you have something to say to him now, say it, but then we need to go talk.” 

Alec deflated and nodded, acquiescing. When Simon stepped away from him, Alec resisted the urge to reach out and touch. Magnus couldn’t be far in front of him. He took a deep breath. 

Magnus tried to steel himself for whatever Alec was about to say, no matter what it was, no matter if Alec hated him forever. He tightened his hands into fists and met Alec’s eyes, even if Alec couldn’t see him. 

“Hey love,” Alec said, his voice soft and quiet. “Sorry we have to do this with an audience, but I promise I’ll tell you in person soon.” There were a thousand thoughts running through his mind, but he knew what Magnus was thinking. “Your ex-girlfriend sucks, by the way. Just in case we needed further confirmation.” 

A surprised laugh burst out of him and Magnus forgot that he hadn’t changed the glamour when Alec grinned, bright and wide, fangs and all. Different, but just as endearing. 

“I don’t want you to try to blame yourself for this. Because I know you will,” Alec continued. “And yeah, I didn’t particularly want to be a vampire, since I’m going to miss portalling around the world with you to every favorite restaurant you have.” A quick pause to look down at his wedding ring had him smiling faintly. 

Alec looked up at the shimmer in the air that he could see now. “But more importantly. I want you to know that I love you, Magnus. I love you, and I’m never going to leave you. Not now, not ever. Don’t ever, EVER forget that.” 

Magnus pressed a hand to his mouth and blinked hard, fighting tears. 

“I know you,” Alec said, glancing back towards Simon. “I know you, Magnus. I know you probably burned the world down to get to me, and you’re scared of me finding out. But I’m not afraid, Magnus. And I’m not going anywhere.” 

Magnus nodded, even though Alec couldn’t see him, his heart wanting to leap out of his chest and into Alec’s hands. 

“I’m going to head in with Simon now. Pick up your phone next time I call, okay? I want, I need, to hear your voice,” Alec pleaded, running his tongue over his teeth with a grimace. “Guess I’m going to have to learn not to pop ‘fang’ around you. I remember that being a thing for Simon.” 

“Come on, Alec,” Simon called. “Let’s get you inside before the sun starts to rise. You need rest.” 

Alec turned to him briefly and nodded again. “Yeah, one sec.” He turned back to where Magnus was and took a deep breath. “Don’t… don’t be too upset with me for not hating this, okay? I get, I get forever. And I don’t hate that,” Alec added, his voice quiet. “Because it’s forever with  _ you _ , if that’s what you want.” 

Magnus watched Alec give him one more big smile, fangs and all, before he turned towards the apartment, following Simon inside. He dropped to his knees on the ground, pressing his hands to his face. How did Alec not hate him for this? 

He didn’t know how long he stood there, but when a pair of combat boots was standing next to him, Magnus took a deep breath and tried to make himself focus. “He’s still Alec.” 

“Were you afraid he wasn’t going to be?” Jace asked, crouching down next to him. 

Magnus nodded. “Immortality changes people. I don’t want him to change into, into someone that can’t…” 

Jace hummed. “Can’t love? Or can’t be who he has always been?” 

Magnus blew out a hard breath. “Something like that.” 

“Well,” Jace said, giving Magnus a quick punch to the shoulder. “Since I won’t be around forever like you two, guess I’ll have to be more obvious about this.” 

Magnus turned and glared at Jace. “Which means what?” 

“Alec is never going to leave you. You’d have to leave him. Whether in five years, fifty, or five hundred, that’ll be the truth,” Jace said with a shrug. 

“People change over time,” Magnus growled, glaring at him. “Alec could decide that he wants something else!” 

Jace raised his eyebrows. “So could you. You going to do that to my brother?” 

Magnus reared back, disgust curling in his stomach, thick and uncomfortable. He sighed and looked back down at the ground. “No. No I am not.” 

“Right,” Jace agreed, bumping his shoulder again. “So trust him to feel the same.” 

Magnus didn’t say anything further, but he was glad that Jace stayed next to him, not moving, keeping careful vigil with him, even though there was nothing left to watch over. 

In the silence of nothing left for him to do, though, the reality of it all came rushing towards him in one fell swoop. Alec dying, finding his office destroyed, seeing Alec feeding at Camille’s wrist, hearing his heart stop, killing the vampires, digging the grave, Alec draining bag after bag of blood… 

“Magnus,” Jace called, watching the red flames start to flicker up his arms, his eyes wild and golden, unseeing, staring straight in front of him. He cursed when Magnus didn’t even turn to look at him and reached out to grab his arm, flinching as he expected heat from the flames. But there wasn’t any pain, only the sludgey, weighted feel of the magic curling around his hand. 

When Magnus didn’t answer again, Jace cursed and knelt down in front of Magnus, meeting his golden eyes. “Magnus, look at me,” he growled. The flames were growing thicker around him, red tinged blue and black, starting to burn the grass, his chest heaving. It looked like a magical panic attack and he certainly didn’t have any experience with this shit. 

“Fuck,” Jace swore. Punching Magnus would likely result in him getting roasted, and that was more guilt the bastard didn’t need. Which left one option, really. He cupped Magnus’ cheeks in his hands and leaned in to press their foreheads together, taking a second to pray to the angel that neither Alec or Magnus would kill him for this. 

“I’m not Alec, I know, but I don’t know how else to help,” Jace breathed. He leaned in and kissed Magnus, keeping his eyes open to make sure he wasn’t about to be chargrilled shadowhunter. Instead, the flames gathering around Magnus were abruptly gone. He slowly brushed his thumbs over Magnus’ cheekbones, tilting his head to make the angle easier on them both, and focused on kissing the warlock. 

Jace was about to pull back from the kiss when suddenly Magnus tilted his head and kissed him back, his lips responding carefully, almost on automatic. He pulled back and exhaled, opening his eyes. Magnus’ were still golden and hazy, but they were able to focus on him and he gave a faint smile. “Back with me?” 

Magnus swallowed, his throat feeling raw and dry as he blinked again, and then again, staring at Alexander’s parabatai. Who he’d just been kissing. “I, yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” 

“It was either that or punch you, and I figured one of those was far more likely to get me killed,” Jace said with a grin, shifting to press a kiss to Magnus’ forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll tell Alec I did it, he’ll punch me, you’ll tell him he’s the better kisser to stroke his ego, even though he has much less experience, and we’ll be fine.” 

Nodding, Magnus settled back down on the grass, glad when Jace didn’t leave, only sat down beside him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save him. I’m sorry this happened.” 

“Far as I’m concerned, you did save him,” Jace said with a shrug. “You brought him back, he’s alive, and the bitch who did this is dead.” 

“True,” Magnus allowed, letting himself drift back into full awareness. The scent of burned grass had his eyes flying to Jace. “Are you hurt?!” 

“Huh?” Jace turned his full attention to Magnus. “What are you talking about?” 

“My, my magic-” 

“Oh, that,” Jace said with a wave of his hand. “Didn’t hurt me. Felt, you know, heavy, but didn’t burn me. Even if it did, still would have helped, but yeah. You didn’t hurt me.” 

Magnus blinked in shock and stared at Jace. “My, my magic didn’t hurt you?” 

“Should it have?” Jace asked, raising an eyebrow. “I was rather glad I didn’t get burned, you know.” 

Magnus swallowed, deciding it was better to just ignore that for now. “I’m glad you didn’t get burned either.” He blew out a hard breath and pushed his hair up and out of his face, glad when silence fell between them so he could tighten the reins on his magic again. 

“Hey Magnus,” Jace said, bumping his foot against Magnus’. 

Magnus turned his attention back to Jace and raised his eyebrows. “Hm?” 

“I get why you hide it, but your warlock mark is pretty badass,” Jace offered, glancing at him with a grin. 

Magnus blinked, and took a second to digest that, realizing with a brief moment of horror that his glamour wasn’t up. As soon as it was, he took a deep, steadying breath and looked back to Jace. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to see it.” 

Jace shrugged. “Not like I care. I think they’re cool. They’re all glow in the dark like a cat, too.” 

Magnus couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled in his throat and he shook his head. “Jace, I’m one of the most powerful warlocks in the world.” 

“Yeah,” Jace agreed, a smirk on his face. “And you have cat eyes. I bet Alec likes them, doesn’t he?” 

“I am not going to dignify that with an answer,” Magnus said, turning his nose in the air, unable to keep from smiling, just a little. Apparently Alexander wasn’t the only one to react to his mark in a positive way. 

Jace laughed. “That’s a yes.” He smirked and looked at Magnus. “Tell me you use them against him.” 

Magnus summoned bottles of water for the both of them and offered one to Jace. “I may, on occasion, have done something of the sort,” he admitted, just to watch Jace laugh again. The tightness in his chest eased a fraction and he sipped some more of the water. 

“You know I’m not going to let you be alone, right?” Jace asked, focusing on the water bottle. “Not while he can’t watch over you.” 

“I can take care of myself,” Magnus snapped, glaring at Jace. “I don’t need a babysitter.” 

Jace snorted and rolled his eyes. “Did I say I was babysitting you? I said I wasn’t going to let you be alone. There’s a difference.” 

Magnus scoffed and glared at Jace, finishing off his water. “If you say so.” 

Jace swallowed and looked down at the grass. It felt weird being on the opposite side of this exact conversation. “Alec used to say that to me,” he admitted. 

Magnus tensed and glanced over at Jace and raised his eyebrows. “Oh?” 

Yeah,” Jace said, looking down at the grass. “When I first came to live with the Lightwoods and I had nightmares. Alec would come stay in my room at night. I uh,” he chuckled. “I said almost the exact same thing to him. That I didn’t need a babysitter. He told me that he wasn’t letting me be alone.” 

“Did it help?” Magnus asked. 

Jace nodded, swallowing hard. “More than I’d ever admit. It’s why I’m sitting here.” 

Magnus sighed and closed his eyes, sagging forward, wrapping his arms around his knees. It was nice to not be alone, he supposed. Maybe Alec had been right about that. When silence fell between them again, Magnus let it, focusing on his breathing and the knowledge that Alec was safe, he wasn’t far, and he was going to be okay. If he also focused on the steady presence of Jace beside him, also watching over Alec the same way he was? Well, anything to help. 

~!~

Hours later, watching the sun start to rise, Jace spoke up. He might not have another chance to say this, and now was the best chance he had. “There’s a saying about parabatai that shadowhunters have,” Jace said, his voice quiet, some time later. 

Magnus frowned, turning to look at Jace, even as the sun started to creep over the horizon. “There is?” 

Jace chuckled. “Yeah. It says that the pain of losing your parabatai is the worst pain you’ll ever feel in your life.” 

“I’m sorry,” Magnus said, his voice hoarse. He, he hadn’t forgotten, but here Jace was, comforting him when he must have been in just as much pain. 

Jace shrugged. “I knew it was coming. As soon as the yin fen hit his system and you left, I knew. Still wasn’t ready for it, but it let me be a little more prepared.” 

“None of this should have happened,” Magnus growled, pressing his hands to his eyes. 

“But it did,” Jace said. He took a deep breath. “And I asked Alec, once. What it’d felt like.” He met Magnus’ eyes when they spun to him in shock. “And if it was true, if it was the worst pain he’d ever felt.” 

Magnus swallowed. “Jace, you don’t have to-” 

Jace waved a hand and glared at him. “You need to hear this and I don’t think that Alec will ever be able to tell you.” 

“All right,” Magnus said, his voice quiet. He steeled himself for whatever bomb Jace was about to drop on him. He could deal with it. He could. 

Jace closed his eyes, remembering the conversation, how jumpy and tense Alec had been when he’d asked the question. “Losing me was not the worst pain he’d ever felt in his life. Didn’t even rank in the top three.” 

Magnus blanched, staring at Jace with wide eyes. “Wh-what?” 

Jace laughed, looking back up at the sky. “Yeah, I was a bit offended by that, not gonna lie. But he looked so upset and guilty about it I couldn’t be mad.” 

Magnus bit down on his lip, cursing when he tasted blood, licking at it quickly. “So what were the worst pains?” 

It took a second before Jace was able to force the words out. “Coming in at number three was watching you leave for Edom, knowing you weren’t coming back, right after you’d gotten engaged.” 

Magnus winced, closing his eyes. “ _ Fuck. _ ” 

“He might have looked like he was holding it together for appearances sake, Magnus? But I can’t understate just how determined and heartbroken he was all in one go,” Jace said, looking over at him. He gently bumped their shoulders again. 

Magnus took a few deep breaths, wanting to ask, but afraid to at the same time. “The others?” 

Jace hummed. “Second was you telling him you loved him, but that you couldn’t be with him,” he kept his voice quiet, watching Magnus flinch. “He told me that he didn’t think he could live without you. He tried, Magnus. He tried, but he couldn’t do it. He was going through the motions. Not...living.” 

“He told me that,” Magnus whispered. “That he didn’t think he could live without me.” He swallowed, tears pricking at his eyes again. “At the time I thought it was just a sweet sentiment, but it was the truth, wasn’t it?” 

“It is,” Jace said, looking back to Magnus. “It is his truth, and he’s accepted it. Even embraced it.” 

A few tears made their way down Magnus’ cheeks and he stared down at the grass, the sun halfway risen now. “The last?” He could guess, and just remembering it made his heart ache. 

Jace exhaled slowly, shifting so his shoulder was pressed against Magnus’. “When he had to break your heart to save you. To get your magic back.” He swallowed, clenching his eyes shut. “It’s the only time I’ve ever felt Alec shut the bond down, almost entirely. The pieces I did, and could feel? I have nightmares about that pain, and I was feeling it second-hand.” 

Magnus clenched his eyes shut and sucked in a harsh breath. “Jace, you don’t-” 

“Listen to me,” Jace growled. “Now that I’ve felt him die, I know he wasn’t wrong. He told me that there was no greater pain than self-inflicted heartbreak.  _ None. _ What he did to you…” his hands shook before he took a deep breath. “It was a matter of time before it killed him and he knew it. Putting you through that pain? It shattered something inside him, Magnus. A core part of him that you’d brought out, that belonged to you and you alone.” 

A sob escaped Magnus and he tightened his fingers in the grass next to him. “Why are you telling me this?” 

Jace shifted slowly, kneeling in front of Magnus before he reached out and pulled the warlock into his arms in a hug. “Because no one else knows Alec like I do, save you. Because no one cares for him like I do, except for you. Because I am trusting my parabatai, the other half of my soul, to you after I’m gone.” 

Magnus froze in Jace’s arms, feeling the shadowhunter tremble around him, even as he held on tight. He pressed his face to Jace’s shoulder and leaned into him. 

“I need you to understand just how much he loves you, Magnus. Because he won’t tell you these things. And because…” Jace’s voice caught in his throat and he pressed his forehead against Magus’ shoulder, mimicking his post. “Because it’s not my job, my privilege, and my right to keep him safe anymore. It’s yours.” 

Magnus carefully wrapped his arms around Jace, pressing in closer to him, his chest shaking as the tears fell hard and fast. He tightened his fingers in the black tshirt Jace was wearing and shook his head, trying to find the words. 

“It’s okay,” Jace whispered, his voice soft, even as he kept his arms tight around Magnus. “I know. We lost him today. We both did.” He gave Magnus a small squeeze. “And I know you want him here, and not me, and I’m a shit stand in, but I’m gonna do my best. Because that’s what he’d want.” 

“You’re a good man, Jace,” Magnus whispered back, closing his eyes. 

Jace snorted. “You clearly don’t know me well enough, if you think that.” 

Magnus opened his eyes and pulled back, just enough to meet Jace’s, a faint smile on his lips. “You know, if you wanted to cuddle, you just needed to ask.” 

“Shut up,” Jace grumbled, moving briefly so his back was pressed against a tree, pulling Magnus against him again. “Now get comfy,” he ordered. From here they had a view of the loft, and even though they couldn’t see in, it was enough to be able to keep a vigil over Alec from afar. 

“We can’t stay out here all day,” Magnus muttered, even as he settled against Jace’s chest. He blinked in surprise when he realized he recognized his heartbeat. It was the echo of Alexander’s. One he had heard every time he’d listened to Alec’s. The sound relaxed him and he melted, some of the tension easing out of him. 

Jace shifted and wrapped his arms around Magnus, feeling him start to relax even further. “You can rest for a little while if you want. I think he’ll call you soon.” 

Magnus scowled. “You’re not that good a pillow.” Even though he was. And it felt a little like being held by Alec. His magic was calming under the touch and he needed that more than he wanted to admit. “You’ll make sure I wake up if he calls?” 

“Yeah,” Jace promised. “If you deign to fall asleep on your uncomfortable human pillow, that is.” 

Magnus closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. Jace’s steady heartbeat was a lullaby in his ear, and it only made his heart ache a little to know he’d never hear it as the echo to Alexander’s again. But he could think of that later. Not now. 

Jace felt the instant the last of the tension dropped out of Magnus and he fell asleep. He breathed slowly, leaning back against the tree, his eyes going to the grave that Alec had crawled out of earlier. He hadn’t seen it, not the same way Magnus had, he’d had to stay away to make sure Alec couldn’t smell him. But he could imagine how heartbreaking it had been. 

He looked up at the loft and shifted just slightly so he could rub Magnus’ back and keep him relaxed. He’d keep watch over both of them. Someone needed to protect them, especially now. He hadn’t been able to do that last time, but now? Now he was going to make sure he did things right. They deserved that. 

~!~ 

Alec growled and stalked into the loft, resisting the urge to turn and glare at Simon, because that wasn't going to accomplish anything other than prove to Simon that he didn't have as much control as he was saying he did. His fangs were pressing into his lips and he cursed, spinning to Simon with a glare. "Teach me how to retract my fangs." 

Simon raised his eyebrows and shut the door behind him. "You're tired, you need to rest, you did just dig out of a grave." 

Alec scoffed. "I've been tired for months. Teach me how to do it. I can't talk properly with them in my mouth." 

A faint smile hit Simon's face. "The lisp is rather adorable, I have to admit." 

"Simon," Alec growled. 

"All right, all right. Sit down and take some deep breaths. It's not going to do you any good to sit there tense as a board," Simon pointed to the floor and watched Alec drop down into a cross-legged position immediately. He moved over to the window and pulled the black out curtain aside, his eyes going to the backyard and he relaxed. 

"What are you looking at?" Alec asked, looking over his shoulder. 

"Confirming a suspicion," Simon said, putting the curtain back into place, before turning to Alec. "I'd warned Jace about coming to watch you, and he listened to me, for once. But he was close enough that he's with Magnus now." 

Tension that Alec hadn't even realized that he was carrying fell out of him and he relaxed, exhaling hard. Jace would take care of Magnus for him. He nodded and swallowed, taking another deep breath, wrinkling his nose as he looked down his chest. "Breathing, huh?" 

Simon snorted. "Yeah, there's a lot of stuff you'll do out of habit. Truthfully, it's better if you don't lose the habit. Mundanes might notice if you don't breathe." 

Alec nodded and refocused on Simon. Now that he'd had almost a dozen bags of blood, the hunger in the back of his mouth was sated. He sighed. "I'm going to miss food." 

"You do," Simon said with a nod. "But I think that Magnus will probably hire a dozen chefs to start creating blood infused dishes, and hey, we'll all end up benefiting as a result." 

Alec fought down the urge to laugh, because that sounded exactly like something that Magnus would do. He gave Simon a faint smile and blinked in surprise when he realized that his fangs had retracted. 

"Best way to retract your fangs? Stop thinking about them," Simon said. "You'll be able to actually do it after a while, but until you've hit that level of control, this is the fastest way. I suspect Magnus might know a few ways to help with them too." 

Alec nodded and watched as Simon sat down across from him. He exhaled hard, and looked down at the carpet. Like this, he could see the individual fibers and even feel them under his fingertips. "Tell me everything that happened?" 

"I don't think..." 

Alec shook his head. "I'm not going to make Magnus relive it, Simon. Tell me. I'll get Jace to tell me the rest." 

"All right," Simon agreed, taking a deep breath. "But on one condition." 

Alec raised his eyebrows. "Which is?" 

"You rest after this? I promise you don't actually feel exhausted, but you are, and your body needs to rest and finish adjusting to everything it just went through. Jace will watch after Magnus," Simon said. 

Alec sighed and nodded again. "I can call Magnus as soon as I wake up?" 

"Of course," Simon said. "I wouldn't stop you from calling him now, if you really wanted to, Alec." 

His eyes flickered over to Simon's pocket, where his phone was and then he shook his head. "I, I think Jace and he need a few minutes." 

"Okay," Simon said with a nod, taking a deep breath. "Camille escaped from the Gard. By the time we got to your office, it was ransacked. It looked like you put up a good fight, but she still managed to overpower you." 

Alec closed his eyes, remembering how his door had flown open and there'd been the blur of vampire speed, fingernails digging into his throat and a sickly sweet voice in his ear promising retribution. 

Simon studied Alec for a long moment, watching him get lost in the memories before he kept talking. 

~!~

Magnus was jolted awake by the sound of his phone ringing and he scrambled to pull it out of his pocket, hitting the answer call button before he even registered the name on it. "Hello?!" 

"Hey babe," Alec said, sinking onto the couch, sipping blood from one of the wineglasses Magnus favored. 

"Alexander," Magnus breathed, sagging back against Jace, glad when the shadowhunter wrapped an arm around him. The touch was comforting, and with Alec's voice in his ear and Jace's arm around him, he could almost pretend. "How are you?" 

"What, other than undead? I'm good. Simon told me what happened. How are you?" Alec asked, taking another sip of the blood. Magnus at least didn't sound like he was falling apart. "Is Jace still with you?" 

Magnus looked up at Jace and found the other shadowhunter watching him cautiously. He cleared his throat and raised his eyebrow, gesturing to the phone. Jace would have clearly heard the question. 

"I'm..." Magnus sighed and took a deep breath. "I'm doing okay. I miss you, and I desperately want to see you." 

"I'm going to take care of him until you can, Alec," Jace added, feeling Magnus jolt in surprise. He flushed under the surprised look from Magnus and focused on the tree across from them. "Don't worry." 

Alec sighed in relief, glad that they were together, at least. "I'll do my best to get finished with Simon's training as soon as possible. But it is going to take a day or two." 

Jace nodded. "We'll figure something out," he promised. "Focus on getting yourself what you need Alec. When you're ready, I'll come over." 

Alec's breath caught and he closed his eyes, tightening his hand on the phone. "Jace, you don't..." 

"Don't you even think about fucking finishing that sentence," Jace growled. "Of course I am. Now shut up, and finish talking to your husband." 

Alec managed a laugh and closed his eyes. "Magnus?" 

"Yes, darling?" Magnus asked, closing his eyes. 

"I love you, so much," Alec breathed, blinking hard. "I'm so sorry that this happened." 

"So am I," Magnus agreed, blowing out a hard breath. "But at the very least you are still here. That, that is what matters to me." 

Alec cleared his throat and fought to get the next words out of his mouth. "Are you going to be okay, still?" 

"Alexander," Magnus huffed. "I've been taking care of myself for centuries, and since you've ensured I have a very capable bodyguard, I am certain-" 

"No," Alec interrupted, his voice soft. He was well-aware of Simon's eyes on him and he turned away, facing one of the portraits in the loft. "I, me being a vampire. I'm sure, it's, it's going to bring up memories, and I want, I want you to be okay. I, I won't ever do anything, I'm going to make certain of it, Simon is going to help, and-" 

"Alexander," Magnus interrupted. He took a deep breath and felt Jace staying completely still behind him. What did that mean? "I won't, lie to you and pretend there won't be moments that will be hard. Things that will be harder than we expect, even." 

Alec nodded into the phone and bit down on his lip, feeling his fangs extend. "Yeah," he breathed, his voice a whisper. 

"But at the end of the day, you are still you, my darling. And I love you. I have no doubt that we can overcome them together, all right?" Magnus whispered. 

"And if you don't, I'll drag you both kicking and screaming until you do!" Jace interjected, glad when he heard both of them laugh, breaking the threads of thick tension that had been curling around the conversation. 

"See?" Magnus said, wiping at his eye. "According to Jace, we're going to be perfectly fine." 

Alec smiled faintly and nodded. "Yeah, we are. You two have somewhere to stay?" 

Magnus blinked and considered that. "Cat's offered to let me stay at her place. I'll be able to crash there." 

"Good," Alec sighed in relief. "That's, that's good. Tell Jace to make sure to get some sleep too, Izzy will tell me if he isn't." 

"No promises!" Jace called. 

"All right," Alec said, glancing over at Simon. "I've got to go call Izzy and Mom now, and make a few dozen more phone calls due to my rather untimely not-really-demise." 

Magnus snorted, even as he felt tears gathering in his eyes again. "Maybe a bit too soon to joke about it, darling?" 

"Unfortunately," Alec said, taking a deep breath. "This is one instance where I agree with Simon on something. Joking about it will keep us from wallowing in what we no longer have." 

"All right, love," Magnus said, forcing a smile. "You go make all of your phone calls and remind everyone of just how not-dead you are. You'll text me?" 

Alec smiled. "Every chance I get." 

"Good," Magnus said, nodding. He took a deep breath and blinked hard. "That's, that's good." 

"Magnus?" Alec asked, clearing his throat. "Do me a favor?" 

Magnus sat up a little, instantly alert. "Anything. Anything, Alexander." 

"Take care of Jace for me? I know he’s… he's hurting a lot more than he's going to admit to anyone," Alec said. He bit down on his lip, wondering if he was asking too much. "I think, I think he might listen to you. If you insist." 

Magnus looked to Jace and found that the shadowhunter wasn’t looking at him. “I will, Alexander, I promise.” 

Alec sagged in relief. "Thank you, Magnus. I just, he'll push everyone else away, and hell, he'll probably try to push you away too-" 

"Not like I have a lack of experience with stubborn shadowhunters not wanting anyone to care about them," Magnus teased, grinning at the way Jace tensed, giving him an elbow. "Don't worry. We'll both be all right. Take care of yourself, and if you need anything, just text me, okay?" 

"I will," Alec breathed, smiling. "I love you." 

"I love you too, Alexander," Magnus said. "Now go take care of the rest of the world. Jace and I will take perfectly good care of each other." 

"Oh shut up," Jace grumbled, glad when Magnus levered himself to his feet and offered him a hand. 

Magnus hung up the call and turned to Jace and found the shadowhunter unable to look at him. He hummed, stuffing his hands into his pockets and considered exactly what the hell the two of them could go do. He grinned, lighting up. 

"Whatever put that expression on your face, the answer is no," Jace growled. "I'm not talking about feelings." 

Magnus scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Don't knock my plans before you hear them. I was going to suggest coffee for the both of us, and then perhaps training." 

Jace turned to him, frowning in confusion. "Training?" 

Magnus huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Honestly, do you think I don't know you at all? You are Alexander's parabatai and we did live together." 

Jace blinked. "What?" 

"Come on, then. You need coffee more than I thought, and I need to stretch my legs. Then we can spend the next few hours beating the shit out of each other," Magnus repeated, striding past Jace towards the entrance to the park. With a wave of his hand, all the evidence of the grave and blood was gone, and the park looked like it always had. 

"You, want me to beat you up?" Jace asked, jogging forward a few steps to catch up with Magnus. 

Magnus gave Jace a dark grin, turning a corner to lead him towards his favorite coffee shop. He smirked. "I want you to see if you  _ can _ shadowhunter." 

"I'll show you," Jace growled. "Just because Alec lets you win-" 

"Alexander does not  _ let _ me win!" Magnus snapped back. "I win perfectly fair and square." 

"Yeah, because he can't stop staring at your ass," Jace said with an eye roll. "I'm not going to take it easy on you." 

Magnus narrowed his eyes. "Careful, or I won't buy you coffee." 

Jace raised his eyebrows. "Who said you had to buy the coffee?" 

Magnus blinked in surprise as Jace strode past him and towards the coffee shop door, holding it open for him. "Most people assume I'm paying." 

Jace shrugged. "I'm not most people. I can splurge for a coffee. Even a cookie, if you're feeling up to food." 

"A cookie," Magnus scoffed. "I'll have you know I am a croissant man, through and through." 

Jace sneered at him. "Buttered air." 

Magnus gasped. "Take that back!" 

"Never!" 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
> Come join a Multifandom Discord Server -  
> [The Fandom Playhouse!](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD)
> 
> You can find me here:  
> [AriaLerendeair](http://arialerendeair.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And on twitter over here:  
> [Aria_Lerendeair](https://twitter.com/Aria_Lerendeair)


End file.
